There are many ways I feel like I fail to fit autism stereotypes. I am a woman. I socialize well with the general population. I can't code or comprehend math and science. I couldn't care less about trains or dinosaurs. But for the purposes of this post, I don't relate to cats and I like dogs.
The cat thing is not by choice. I grew up with cats as a child. Then when my family's cat died, I tested positive for cat allergies. I didn't have it before but since then I'm unable to be around or touch a cat without my eyes watering and sneezing uncontrollably. It's a tragedy of great proportions because I do generally like cats. And I understand why the online autistic community likes cats - they can be aloof and antisocial unless they decide to form a bond with you. Cats get a bad reputation because of this and autistic people can relate. However, I don't often see myself in a cat - I am very sociable when need be while also enjoying my down time away from others. And because of that balance, I've found myself more and more attracted to dogs.
I was introduced to the concept of dogs when one of my sisters got a chihuahua-terrier mix almost fifteen years ago. My family really took to him and inspired my parents to get their own small shitzu-terrier a year later. Both dogs are so sweet and loving that it caused a ripple effect of everyone in my immediate family adopting dogs. A few years later my other sister got a boxer with her now-husband. My brother and I were the last to join the bandwagon, picking up our respective doggos five years ago. Every family gathering is now a doggy playdate. One of my parents' friends' sons asked at Thanksgiving that everyone leaves the dogs at home a few years ago and he has not been back to the family Thanksgiving ever since.
I had been thinking about getting a dog for years. The concept of having an animal companion that loves you unconditionally keeps one less lonely. And dogs seem weirdly attracted to me. Every dog I come across is eager to meet me and cuddle with me. But until five years ago, I was nervous about the commitment to having one. Dogs can be a lot of work with training and scheduling and walking, not to mention the economic costs of having a pet. I didn't know if I could handle it. I'm barely able to care for myself, how the hell could I be responsible for dog? But I bit the bullet and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.
It's truly amazing how my pupper, Frankie, met all my requirements for a dog. I was adamant that whatever dog I got had to be a rescue. For one thing, rescue dogs already exist and deserve loving homes of their own. For the other, I don't trust puppy sellers. When I decided to commit to a dog, I called several rescue organizations about potential dogs and none felt like a fit. The last organization I called, Gone to the Dogs, asked me outright what I was looking for when the dog I called about turned out to not be a good fit. My answer was this: a small-ish cocker spaniel-type that knew when to play and knew when to chill out that I could ideally turn into a service dog. They said they'd keep me informed if they got anything like that in. A month later, they called me back. They had rescued a litter of two month-old puppies that they thought could match what I was looking for. When I went to meet them, names ran through my head and already planned a future with whatever I was going to encounter. I would've adopted all three puppies I met that day if I felt I could handle more than one dog but the first one I picked up I immediately fell in love with. He was so cute, so serene, and when I put him down to meet the others, he came running back to me. Upon seeing this, the foster family's son said, "Aw, Frankie loves you." It was set. I called the organization immediately calling dibs on little Frankie. And after two months of fostering, he was mine.
Getting Frankie five years ago was probably the best time I could've gotten him. It was the height of COVID lockdowns and like many of my countrymen I had to shift to working out of home. Frankie was barely four months old when he came to live with me and I had the time and ability to be home to train him effectively. It also helped that I took responsibility looking after my sister's chihuahua-terrier mix for a few months prior to Frankie's arrival so I understood having to keep a regular schedule for caring for him. I was initially worried that Frankie would be harder to care for than my sister's dog but Frankie turned out to be a blessing in that department. He came to me almost fully crate-trained and generally understood he had to go outside to go to the bathroom. He perfected these things quickly as well as other basic commands. And when I went back to seeing clients in person, he took to handle being alone while I was out for hours at a time. It did take some spray adhesive to keep him from chewing my furniture and underwear but he now only destroys his toys as all dogs do. It was hard to discipline him because he'd zip away before I could do anything but he learned his lessons all the same.
Frankie is the greatest joy I have in life. He is truly the epitome of the perfect dog - cute, adoring, smart, easily adaptable, sociable. He wants to meet and play with every person and dog and every person he meets instantly adores him. Frankie always elicits compliments about his coloring and fox-like looks. I'm certain that every member of my family would steal him out from under me if they thought they could get away with it. My neighbors adore him and are more than happy to walk him if I'm out without expecting anything in return. I can't ask for a better creature in my life.
For all the autistic love for cats, there are real benefits for autistic people to having dogs. For one thing, dogs require discipline and routine. I know as an autistic person I do love having a good routine and scheduling when to walk and feed Frankie has brought stability to my life. I wake up, get dressed, take him for his morning walk, come back and feed him before breakfast. It's nice having that kind of predictable schedule. There's also the fact that dogs force you to be social. Before I had Frankie, I never knew how much my neighborhood was a dog neighborhood. And because Frankie wants to meet absolutely everyone, he forces me to talk to other dog owners with small talk and about our respective dogs. It's pet-based social skills training. But most importantly, dogs are a guaranteed source of love. Dogs generally have unconditional love for their owner and Frankie is the epitome of that. When it feels like the world hates autistic people, we need that kind of love that won't go away. For all the good cats can bring, cats are give or take with their affection. Dogs aren't stingy with their love, and that's healing. They're called "man's best friend" for a reason.
Pets are work but they give so much to us in return. And as much as I feel the cat love among my autistic community, we really should extend a hand to dogs too. Sure, cats are easier to take care of and can be relatable but dogs help us expand ourselves to us and others. Dogs help us grow and take care of ourselves. Sure, I can't have a cat for allergy reasons but I wouldn't trade my Frankie for the world. He is a joy and worth the love. Put some respect on my Frankie.
No comments:
Post a Comment