Friday, November 15, 2024

The Autistic Yogi

 I don't love exercise. I know it's good for you but the idea of exerting a ton of energy to get stinky and sweaty is not something I particularly enjoy. I do it begrudgingly and because I have to if I want to maintain some sort of healthy facade. I have a physical trainer I see twice a week. I hike on and off like an Angeleno stereotype. I use the elliptical and machine bike at my local gym. And like any millennial woman worth her salt, I go to yoga.

I've practiced yoga ever since I was a teenager. I was introduced to it by an acting coach when he'd lead my class through the Sun Salutation as warm up before acting exercises and rehearsals. It's a fairly simple set of stretching exercises that don't require that much strength but it would get us physically in tune before we worked. In college I tried a variety of yoga classes and since then I've done yoga at multiple studios and at home. During the pandemic I relied heavily on youtube to get my fix, particularly one channel that has routines for almost any mood and any physical issue that could be addressed. I currently go to a class that combines the Barre Method with yoga. Part of the reason I go to that class is that it's taught by a former coworker of mine, a fact I learned after she commented on a Facebook post I made complaining about how hard Barre was on my flat feet. My calves want to kill me every time I'm in class, but by the end I feel like I've accomplished something.

Wednesday, November 6, 2024

Decision 2024 and That Particular Neurodivergent Despair

The last few posts on this blog have been political because I'm a political person. Politics is probably the worst special interest an autistic person can have because it leaves one stressed and depressed all the time. It hurts to know what is going on in the world but feels good to be informed. So naturally I had a lot of hopes and fears riding on the 2024 American election because it felt like a critical choice between keeping the democratic experiment alive and a total destruction of it with the rights I and other Americans pulled out from under our feet. I wanted democracy to prevail and I worked hard to phone bank, write postcards, and voted for it. I was terrified that it wouldn't hold.


I'm writing this feeling hollow to my core. My family and friends feel the same and we try to offer condolences to each other as we fear the future. My social media is littered with anger, despair, pointing fingers, and hopelessness. None of this helps my mood, much less my entire being. And all this is compounded by my neurodivergence amplifying every dark thought and feeling that I have.